Amy Leigh Fitzpatrick-Cope | February 2017
Let me start off by asking you a simple question: How is the relationship between you and… you? It may sound a little weird, but it’s the most important question you will ever ask yourself. Do you check in with yourself frequently? When something bad happens to you, do you ask yourself how you are dealing with it? In an amazing situation do you celebrate how amazing you are? When you achieve something BIG or SMALL do you congratulate and tell yourself that YOU DID IT! & you DESERVE IT!?
In my experience, the secret to having an amazing relationship with yourself is by being disciplined and committed to being the best friend you’ve ever had.
Is there a big difference between how you treat yourself, how you treat your loved ones and how your nearest and dearest treat you?
In the name of Self-love.
Most of our parents didn’t grow up practicing it, being taught it or even teaching it to us. Today, it can seem like the term is being thrown in our faces from all different angles.
Here’s the thing… Self-love is different for everyone. Each of us has our own unique experience with loving ourselves and with creating that healthy relationship.
The first time I ever heard the words self-love was from my own life coach. I was 17 turning 18 and it was like something had turned on inside of me. All throughout my life I watched my mum putting everybody before herself, I watched my dad work tirelessly to be able to give us everything that we wanted. I thought this was what life was about… Everybody else. “Put others before yourself”. “Don’t be so selfish”. “Treat others how you want to be treated”. So when I was told that in order to be happy, to be successful and to lead a fulfilled life I had to PUT MYSELF FIRST – life actually made a little bit more sense to me. When you show up in life from a place of self-love you won’t do that thing you do to yourself anymore, you won’t chase unavailable romantic partners, you won’t have toxic friendships. Your standards are higher for yourself.
Now, a lot of people don’t learn this when they’re 18. Especially young women. I know my own mum had to wait until she was in her mid 40s to finally start treating herself with kindness, compassion and love BEFORE anybody else.
The thing is… self-love doesn’t mean that you forget about everybody else’s needs. It’s about understanding that you need to be totally filled up with your own love before you can extend it purely to anybody else.